WELCOME

to the products of my sense of humour.

 

Those who know me well will be aware that I do not have the enviable gift of being able to recall at will lots and lots of jokes, and that, as a result, those witticisms that I do utter tend to be home groan.

On the succeeding page, you will find the examples that I have remembered for long enough to put in to typescript.

You should find that my taste favours things that are genuinely funny over the tat that is found in some brands of forwarded e-mails: also that I have tried to avoid that which might be construed as racially controversial or too excruciating for words. You will look in vain for remarks about the medieval Chinese army losing all its battles (all the soldiers had chinks in their armour), or the probably apocryphal story about the former secretary of the Shoemakers Guild who, when arranging coach outings for retired members, allegedly phoned up potential venues with the words "Will it be OK to bring you a load of old cobblers on x date at y time?"

Of course, I cannot guarantee that nobody else thought of any of these first. If anybody can show me where any of them already existed, I will be happy to remove it or acknowledge the source.

 

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